You meet all kinds when you rent a room in a student house.
She walked in the door, carrying three cardboard boxes. This slender brunette was in fit and strong, and she had the confidence to show she knew it. Her name was Nancy. You wouldn’t know she was only 18 and a first year college student, because she carried herself with an ease that few women her age have ever known.
Once she got her stuff settled, we had the usual introductory conversation. Then and always, she was pretty fun to talk to (especially when she was sober). She packed one of the fridges full of groceries, and discussion of her food choices led to the fact that she was on a paleo diet.. This was a woman who ate like a cave man. I was cool with that.
Being more social than Awkward Amir, she often studied at the bar in the kitchen using her Macbook Air. I, also being slightly extroverted, enjoyed having someone else around to talk to. She certainly had an alternative view on life. She had not bought into consumer culture, and had some interesting things to say about media and advertising. We had some intelligent talks and fun laughs together in those first few weeks after she moved in.
But Nancy had another side. Strange smells would come from her bedroom. Strange cooking aromas that didn’t smell like paleo foods came from her room. She would come out looking agitated, sometimes with her jaw quivering as she spoke. Nancy was into drugs; this was becoming obvious.
I said nothing, since I don’t consider someone else’s personal life choices to be any of my business, so I continued to treat her the same as I always had.
A little while later, a young man started hanging around the house. A blond gym bunny of a guy would pop out of her bedroom with her once in a while. They’d both be wearing boxer shorts and t-shirts, and they’d be quite social and talkative when they emerged from the basement.
I continued to mind my own business. The guy was friendly, so I didn’t mind him hanging around, and I didn’t want to know anything about what went on in that bedroom, so I never asked.
Nancy gradually continued to get more and more comfortable in her own skin. With or without her BF around, she’d walk around in a pair of boxer shorts and a t-shirt, which was fine, but the shirts got smaller and smaller, and the shorts got tighter, then turned to panties, and then into thongs. I had 3 jobs, so I wasn’t home very often, but it was obvious that Nancy was getting a little more comfortable than your average roommate in a co-ed house. As a man in my 30s, I felt a little awkward having an 18-year-old almost-nude girl running around the house, but it’s not like I was traumatized.
One day I walked in the door to find her doing her homework in the kitchen, wearing a tiny shirt and a thong, sitting up on the bar stool with her butt cheeks displayed for all to see. I had 5 minutes before I had to leave for my next shift, so I didn’t have time to say anything about it like, “Hey, I’m glad you’re comfortable here, but since all of us like to have company sometimes, do you think you could wear a pair of shorts or something out here?” I knew this talk would be needed sometime soon as, at the rate this was going, I expected to find her completely starkers by next week.
The next day, I came home from a busy shift at the hospital, and all I wanted to do was have a shower and go to bed. I washed all of the sweat off my body and stress from my soul, and emerged from the bathroom wearing a towel and a smile. As soon as I stepped out into the hall, I was surrounded. Nancy, her gym bunny boyfriend, and Downbeat Debbie were all around me, all scantily clad. They took an excessive amount of interest in me. The guy went out of his way to shake my hand- twice, and say it was good to see me. Nancy and Debbie were looking at me with wide, hungry eyes, and I felt like I was going to get stripped, eaten in a cannibalistic frenzy, or both if I stayed with these lusting flesh monsters, so I made a quick exit and locked my bedroom door behind me.
A few minutes later, there was a knock on my door, and when I cracked it open, I found Downbeat Debbie wearing only a towel, trying to start a random conversation. As I feared this was leading to an invitation to join them all downstairs, I politely squirmed my way out of the conversation and shut the door. What’s gotten into these guys? Well, probably MDMA, but still, these guys were weirding me out a little.
They seemed to catch my drift that I was not interested in their little nudist gatherings and whatever else downstairs, so the attention stopped, and they went about their business as I went about mine, and I started to feel more comfortable at home again-
Until one night at 2AM. I must have the prostate of a man twice my age, as I usually have to get up once or twice a night to go to the bathroom, so I silently tip-toed towards the bathroom.
I noticed the door was closed, which was unusual, but I could tell by looking at the floor that the light was not on inside, so I figured the room was vacant. Not wanting to knock, and risk waking another roommate nearby, I just opened the door and flicked on the light. There was Nancy, wearing a thong and NO SHIRT WHATSOEVER! She instinctively screamed and covered herself, and I closed the door and took off. We never spoke about it, and I hoped that she had forgotten about the whole ordeal, but seriously, you walk around in the night topless and then don’t lock the bathroom door… what do you expect will happen? Sheesh. Fortunately I found a thirsty tree in the back yard and didn’t need the bathroom again that night.
That was the last time I ever saw Nancy nearly naked. Perhaps the bathroom encounter made her feel a little more like dressing up after that. Although she started wearing more clothing from then on, that wasn’t the end of Nancy’s mischief. She wasn’t naked when she got arrested, but that is another story for another time.